The following pictures are not attractive.
They lack the beauty of a guitar with a burl walnut body. They don’t impress like the exquisite movement of a mechanical chronograph. They’re ugly, but important to look at. They’re of me…from the inside.
A colonoscopy procedure is vital, especially if you’re a northern 55er. We should already know that.
Three years ago I was scheduled for my first one. I dreaded the prep day. What friends and family said about drinking the formula and the ensuing “cleansing” almost caused me to cancel the procedure. All I heard about was the loss of control and embarrassment. I was surly to my wife, distant from my staff, and ignored my dog’s craving for my attention.
The prep day arrived. I expected the horrors that everyone described. My mood was awful. Wasted energy. It wasn’t as bad as the “urban legend.” Nothing like it, actually. Yeah, I spent the same amount of time in the bathroom as most, but, there was never the need to sprint there. I always had control and could delay by a few minutes to hear the rest of a song or finish a chapter in the book I was reading. Four to Five hours later, it was over.
The actual colonoscopy was effortless. You’re knocked out and then wake up. What’s in between goes on while asleep. No pain. No mess. Nothing to be concerned about.
That was how it went down for me. That is, until I woke up and the doctor said pleasantly, “Hey Sal, we found something that’s significant. We’ll send it off to pathology and get back you.” That night the call came. Yes, what they removed was large (mushroom-shaped is a bad sign…mine was) and cancerous.
That was the bad news. The good news was that it was removed and self contained. No operation needed. Nothing further to be done. However, I was promoted from the 10-year club to the 3-year club. Yes, I had to do it all over again in three years.
My most recent colonoscopy was even easier. The prep formulas are now purchased over-the-counter at your pharmacy. This time, I felt the prep process was even more controllable. The laxative outcome is the same…as it is supposed to be for a flawless procedure giving the doctor the best view inside.
I have to mention how terrific the doctors and techs were during both procedures. Everyone was personable and upbeat. They really nailed the bedside manner. Obviously, with so much patient stress and fear, these healthcare professionals know how to make the procedure as easygoing as possible. I certainly appreciated it.
I am looking forward to seeing my grandchildren (none yet, but soon we hope.) I want to spend many more years reminding my wife how much I love her. Corny yes, but sincere. I need a lot more years to perfect my guitar playing to something that resembles music. And selfishly, I want to stick around for a long time.
Colonoscopy? Sure, I’m there. It’s cool with me.